10 recent blog posts
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biblical oneness
Posted 13 hours ago
Biblical oneness is marked by freedom because it takes into account one another’s uniqueness. Biblical oneness takes into account that each person has different needs and different interests. Indeed, biblical oneness is dependent on such uniqueness, since unity is rendered meaningless where there are no distinctions to be made.
The unity of the Trinity becomes more mysterious and precious when we consider that each member of the Trinity is unique. The Father is not the Son. The Son is not the Spirit. They are unique. But each eternally and always moves towards and out from each other in free love. Their distinction makes their unity in love more precious.
The unity of the church works the same way. When members of a body of believers are truly unified it is very precious because we know that each member is truly unique, special and different. In instances where everyone is the same (and they get along merely because they are the same) the so-called unity is less valuable because it costs each person less. It is a paradox, indeed: the greater the differentiation between the members, the more precious the unity. But there cannot be differentiation without the granting of real freedom.
The same is true in marriage. People often marvel at how two people, who could be so different from one another, could go so many years being married to one another. The choice to stay with one another becomes more valuable when each person is allowed to be unique. But, again, there ...
faith and marriage
Posted 37 hours ago
Our friends Dan and Kristen were married on July 17. What a beautiful day it was! I had the honor of doing the homily for their wedding ceremony. Following is the text. I hope you enjoy reading it and that it helps you in some way.
-Troy
Faith and Marriage
a homily by Troy Cady
Life is filled with many leaping off points that require faith. Some leaping off points are quite big: the start of a new job, the move to a new country or the birth of a child. The truth is: every day is a leaping off point. Today is no exception. Today, Dan and Kristen, you are taking a leap that will result in one of the biggest adventures of your life (if not the biggest adventure). This is partly because 3,063 days from now the same amount of faith will be needed to sustain your marriage. The date will be December 7, 2018. You will have been married 8 years, 4 months and 20 days. On that day, believe it or not, you will encounter another leaping off point. It will look very different than today's leaping off point. It will look something like this: You will be at Home Depot and you will get on each other’s nerves because you can’t agree whether you should buy a sponge mop or a rag mop.
Dan will say something like: "But Kristen, blah blah blah blah blah, sponge mop, blah blah blah blah blah."
And she'll say something like: ...
yesterday's flooding in chicago
Posted 5 days ago
We live about a block and a half from a large park that has two baseball diamonds, some walking paths and park benches. The park has plenty of green grass and large, lush trees. Running through the park is a river. In a previous post I referred to the river as "shallow and muddy". Usually, you can see the bottom of the river, with mere puddles of water forming here and there. Until yesterday.
Yesterday morning I took the dog for her morning walk and noticed that--overnight--the river had filled and overflowed. It was threatening to cover the walking bridge, but was still low enough to flow under the bridge. Crossing the bridge, I discovered that half the park had turned into a large pond overnight. The photos below seem unremarkable at first until you remind yourself that just hours before there was no water here whatsoever, besides a collection of puddles in a deep river bed.
The water fountain surrounded by flood water...
The water level rose to just under the bottom of the bridge.
Some pics of the flooded park...
A bench in the middle of the park, beside a path; the bench is half-covered in the middle of a newly formed lake now.
In spite of warnings to the contrary (as on the sign below), within the past three months someone climbed the fence and got swept away by the river--drowned. I met someone who lived in the same building as the person that drowned and ...
Inside Joke
Posted 6 days ago
We sat at the dinner table and watched as Teo closed his hand around another grape, swung his arm backward, and dropped the grape on the floor. Both he and Alleke leaned over and watched the grape roll under the table, and then, again, they errupted into laughter until I thought they might have coughing fits and until they looked exhausted from working so hard, like they had just finished running a 10k. They were forced to stop laughing to catch their breath, and when they were almost ready, Teo picked up another grape, and the comedy started all over again.
Meanwhile, April and I looked at each other from across the table and wondered the same thing.
“What’s so funny?”
Where’s Xavi?
Posted 6 days ago
Alleke looks for her favorite player, Xavi, as Madrid welcomes home Spain’s World Cup Team.
Class Picture
Posted 6 days ago
This post is part of a larger story. Click here to start at the beginning.
Although Alleke’s tantrums had stopped at home, and with an enthusiastic pep talk over a bowl of oatmeal she would even willingly walk to school, she was still clutching my leg and begging me to take her home when Lucía appeared at the classroom door, all dressed up for the class picture.
I realized then that I had been waiting for Lucía to come back to school, even though Sonia had told me she wouldn’t. I wasn’t disappointed when Lucía spotted Alleke holding onto my pant leg, walked over, and bent down to ask Alleke how she was doing.
This moment, I thought, could be the closure Alleke needed to feel good about school again, and for me too, to have Lucía pick up my insecure daughter and immediately make her feel like she belonged here again.
But unlike the first day of school, this time when Lucía reached for Alleke and asked permission to pick her up and hold her in her arms, Alleke clutched my pant leg even tighter and looked away. It was as if Alleke didn’t even remember who Lucía was.
It broke my heart, but Lucía’s time as Alleke’s teacher had come and gone, and I was once again reminded of the lesson I had learned through this experience. Teachers will come and go, and some may even be forgotten, but I will always be Alleke’s dad. I was ultimately ...
The Buck Stops Here
Posted 6 days ago
This post is part of a larger story. Click here to start at the beginning.
As I watched Alleke stand at one end of the living room and shout at her brother who was asleep in April’s arms at the other end of the room, I sat at the table between them with my laptop open and scrolled through a website about sibling jealousy. I wondered if in the end, Sonia might be right.
After our parent-teacher conference, Sonia had collected her things and walked us to the front door of the school where she had turned to us and said, “You know, Alleke might be jealous of Teo.” Then she shrugged one last time and walked away.
At the time I thought Sonia was looking for one more reason for Alleke’s behavior that didn’t involve her, but I also wanted to keep an open mind because, after all, what was most important was not who was to blame, but that we found a way to help Alleke.
April and I had made the choice to send Alleke to school at three years old, and as a result, we had discovered that it was difficult to help her through a tough situation at school when we weren’t there to see what happened and she couldn’t explain it to us. Whether we liked it or not, Alleke would have to make decisions for herself when Mom and Dad were not around. Our job was to teach Alleke how to deal ...
Parent Teacher Conference
Posted 6 days ago
This post is part of a larger story. Click here to start at the beginning.
“April and I have noticed some changes in Alleke’s behavior in the last few weeks, and we would like to set up a time to talk to you,” I said to Sonia at the door of her classroom.
Sonia cocked her head and raised her eyebrows. She seemed caught off guard by my request. Nonetheless, she said, “Of course. I can meet with you today after school if that works for you.”
“Perfect,” I said, and then reached down to pry Alleke’s arms from around my leg.
After school, April and I found Sonia in her classroom organizing her desk. She offered us two miniature preschool chairs, and we sat down, resting our elbows on our knees.
While Sonia had seemed surprised, possibly nervous, that morning when I suggested that we meet, this afternoon she seemed calm and collected. “What would you like to talk about?” she asked.
“A few weeks ago Alleke started telling us she didn’t want to go to school,” I explained. “Then last week you said she refused to do her schoolwork, and she escaped from the playground. We’re also starting to see some dramatic changes in Alleke’s behavior at home. She’s been slamming doors, wetting her bed, pooping in her pants on purpose, telling us she doesn’t like us or love us anymore, and throwing tantrums where she completely loses control of herself.”
“Because Alleke’s change in behavior started ...
Physical Affection
Posted 6 days ago
This post is part of a larger story. Click here to start at the beginning.
I studied to be a high school teacher in the US, and I was taught never to show any physical affection for my students. I was never to touch my students—not even a hand on the shoulder—without risk of losing my job…and my career.
In fact, when I was in high school, I knew a girl whose dad lost his job for putting his hand on a girl’s shoulder. The girl was upset about a bad grade, so she marched straight to the principle’s office and said her teacher had touched her bra strap, and that was it—poof!—he and his family disappeared forever.
As a parent, I don’t want teachers (especially men) touching my kids in inappropriate ways, but I also feel strongly that a society that outlaws any kind of physical affection between teacher and student has lost something. According to a parenting book I like called How to Really Love Your Child, one of the four main ways to communicate love to a child is through physical affection. The reality is kids spend most of their day at school where they’re being starved for physical affection, which is a basic need. And even though they’re at school to learn, they’re not being educated on how to meet their physical needs in a healthy way. Parents and teachers pretend these physical needs don’t exist because they don’t want to see a child get ...
Jailbreak
Posted 6 days ago
This post is part of a larger story. Click here to start at the beginning.
“Did you talk to Sonia?” Vicky asked when April pulled up to the school playground with the stroller, and Alleke ran off to play.
“No, why?” April asked. At first she didn’t even know who Vicky was talking about. She was still getting used to the idea that Sonia, the teacher’s assistant, was now Alleke’s classroom teacher.
Vicky frowned. “When I got to school, Sonia was very upset,” she said. “Sonia said the three girls—Amaya, Alleke and Paula—left the playground during recess. They were running around the hallways and playing hide-and-go-seek, and Sonia was looking all over for them and couldn’t find them. She finally found them hiding from her behind her classroom door.”
Later on the way home from school when April asked Alleke whose idea it was to leave the playground during recess, Alleke looked up at April and said, “It was my idea, mama.”
Every morning for the rest of the week, Alleke woke up and said she didn’t want to go to school, which was the first time she had mentioned anything about not wanting to go to school since the beginning of the year.
On Friday when I picked up Alleke from school, Sonia walked over. “Alleke hasn’t been doing her schoolwork all week,” she said, and raised her eyebrows at Alleke, who was at my side holding my hand.
We walked home, and on the way I ...
